Sometimes, I feel as though I am sitting in a beautiful sublime pastoral setting, with a friend, or even with a person who I haven't had the opportunity to become friends with yet.
My friend is on their macbook, with ear buds in their ears while I am sitting cross legged drinking my coffee and soaking in the ideal surrounds - - -
A unicorn passes by, my friend and eye, and I exclaim, "Oh MY GOD! ----- there's a unicorn there passing right by 2o feet away in front of Us!!!"
My friend, doesn't look up, but continues to look @ their screen.
"THe Unicorn!!! -----Look at it, oh my sweet jeesus, that it is a miracle!" ---- the tears are streaming down my face and I am melting into the lush tarkovskyesque grass.
"Hmmmpf." my friend irritatedly mumbles, and presses their earbuds deeper into their ears - - -
I look at their screen and see that they have 2 dozen browser windows open. 3 are facebook. 4 are youtube videos on disparate subjects. 1 is linked in. one is craigslist. 2 are twitter. one is pinterest...5 chat windows with various love interests, etc....
I rip the earbuds from their ears and say, "BITCH! LOOK AT THE FUCKING UNICORN!" - - - glancing up momentarily, they look back at their screen.
The unicorn rears up on its hind legs, a majestic sight, like the archangel michael in equestrian forme - - -
I see that my friend has wikipediad "unicorn," has 3 deviant art account pages with terrible drawings of unicorns. 3 dating sights, "How to meet your unicorn in 3 steps and 5 easy payments of 29.99$" - - -paranormal youtube videos of possible unicorn sightings. Several pages proclaiming, "Unicorns, are they really that great?" --- "Does anything really exist, is there any truth at all, least of all unicorns??" --- "Nothing really matters, especially not unicorns."
NPR streams of the evolution of unicorns.
My friend darts from one page to another page. manically. maniacally. Desperately. hardly spending one second on each one. and then more pages sprout open like mushrooms.
They say to me caustically, scornfully, tearfully,
"Unicorns aren't real, even if they were they only live in finland."
"I don't have time for unicorns, I have to find a job."
"Who cares about Unicorns, Donald Trump is elected now, its the end times! why are you wasting my time??"
"I wonder if Unicorns sell Molly, Can I ride the unicorn to the Rite Aid to buy 2 six packs of steel reserve??"
"I can't live by myself. Is that Unicorn Single??"
"I don't have time for yoga or unicorns."
- - -
The Unicorn, does the most rarified of things...he bows to Us, me and my youtube video friend. A bowing unicorn is a blessing from the gods.
My friend still doesn't look up now.
After the unicorn bows, and begin to walk away, I say in a small voice, "this is your last chance...the unicorn is walking away...sad...now it's gone...it went into the enchanted wood."
My friend indifferently mumbles...
"ya know, when I was a kid I believed that I would see a unicorn one day. I dreamed that I would ride it and go on all sorts of quests. But now, my heart has been broken so many times. I've been soo disappointed. I have to work 6o hours a week to keep my girlfriend happy. Work Work Work so that I am good enough. And oh, that new smart phone! Gotta have that! gotta impress the girl / boy / kids. I don't think that Unicorns actually exist...
...why am I so cursed? Why am I so unlucky? When will I ever get to see a Unicorn?!!"